Bye-bye brotastic copy. Your era is over.
When I first started writing copy in the early 2000s, it was a boys club. Not just the writing style, but the industry itself was literally a sausage fest.
Every event I attended was probably 90% wall-to-wall dudes.
And to tell you the truth…I loved it. I fell in love with copywriting because of that high testosterone style. It was kinda like cosplay for me.
Here I was, this nurturing, highly empathic chick, who got to hang out and tell raunchy jokes with the guys. It was a blast.
I learned discipline, psychology, and salesmanship from the top dogs in the game (Halbert, Kennedy, and Carlton).
But when I started hosting my own live events, something weird happened. My mostly female audience confessed to me that they hated brotastic copy. They couldn’t stand the screaming and the “crush your competition” vibe.
I was kinda stunned. I mean, that’s what’s been working for decades. What was wrong with these women?
So I pulled back and started doing my own research on how women buy. Being a female myself, you’d think I would already know. But I didn’t.
At first I scoffed when I read the stat that women make 85% of the buying decisions across most brands.
Then I realized, wait a minute…women don’t just buy for themselves. They’re the CEOs of most households.
They decide what brand of toothpaste the family uses and what mechanic to take the vehicles to. They’re often the purchaser of gifts for friends and relatives. They have veto power for large expenses like homes or solar heating.
Once I grokked that, the proverbial lightbulb went off.
So, of course they rule with the power of the purse.
And the biggest take-away I got is that women think differently. There’s a good reason for that.
Our minds were wired 200,000 years ago and we still use that same software to make decisions.
See, if we were to time travel back to the hunter/gatherer era, our ancestors were busy staying alive.
The stronger, larger men went out to hunt. They needed tunnel vision to keep themselves locked on the target and block out distractions. So, their brains adapted for focus, single-tasking, and proof.
The women stayed closer to camp, raising kids, preparing food, and keeping the tribe safe. They needed to get along with the others and develop peripheral awareness about their surroundings. Their brains became wired for connection, communication, and reading subtle cues.
Fast-forward to modern marketing. That wiring’s still running the show for both sexes.
Men’s buying decisions tend to be linear. They have a problem and need a solution. Give ‘em solid proof (along with a few psychological twists) and, BOOM. They buy.
Women’s decisions are more relational. They must trust you first. And that requires more of an emotional investment before they’ll even consider buying.
It’s not better or worse. It’s just it’s biology.
So when your copy comes in swinging with “act now!” before a woman feels safe, her cave-brain screams danger.
But when you slow down, tell a story, and bond first, that same wiring flips into belonging. And belonging for a woman results in sales.
Remember…
Safety before urgency.
Because if she doesn’t feel safe, forget about it. You can shout, “But wait! There’s more!” till the cows come home. She ain’t buying if you don’t make her feel secure first.
You must start with empathy when selling to women. Once she trusts you, urgency works like a charm.
You can’t logic your way into someone’s heart. You gotta lead with emotion. Paint pictures. Tell stories.
Once she’s feeling it, logic becomes the easy yes.
Dry facts don’t sell dreams. Show her the guilt-free relief she wants out of life. Then prove it’s real, and she’ll be tripping over her stilettos to get to her wallet.
The coolest part is that when you learn to sell to women, you get better at selling to everyone.
Because to reach women, you have to slow down and listen. You have to care about how your words will feel to her instead of how they perform.
And guys appreciate that too!
Look, readers can smell fake faster than a horse smells fear. But when you show up honest and with understanding, people lean in. They start nodding when they feel something from your words.
And when that happens, the sale’s already half made.
Maybe the next great copy revolution won’t come from louder headlines or flashier funnels. Maybe it’ll come from empathy.
Because the best copy doesn’t chase the sale. It builds the bond.
