Reframe Your Brain

One of my horsey friends unfriended me on Facebook recently.

Here’s what happened in a nutshell. She decided she knows everything there is to know about horses, and wanted to exert her dominance. She told me I needed a new saddle for one of our horses because it was too small. (Mind you this horse has been ridden using the same saddle for over 5 years without a hitch.)

Saddles are pricey so I wasn’t just going to take her word for it. I asked a trainer who happened to be at the ranch that same day.

Whoa…you would’ve thought I’d taken an ad out in the Country Journal to call my friend some sort of imbecile. She was livid.

So she passively aggressively unfriended me.

Writing about it now, I can see how silly her reaction was. But at the time, it bothered me so much that, for a while, it was difficult to focus on my work.

Well, when you write for a living, that’s just a state you can’t wallow in. It happens to all of us. And unless you have a therapist on speed dial, sometimes you have to play some mind games with yourself to get re-centered.

If you are in a bad frame of mind, try a few of these techniques to shift yourself into greatness again.

  • Take Care of Yourself First – It’s so easy to let clients, colleagues, friends and family dictate how you will prioritize your day. Don’t put off what feeds you. Schedule in YOUR time first. Be sure you schedule in exercise, healthy meals, and fun time. You can’t be creative if you are just working, working, working.
  • Own It, Baby – No matter what you wear or how you feel, throw your shoulders back, stand up straight and smile. When we physically act as if we are all that and a bag o’ chips, our mind starts believing it too. So fake it till you make it, and you’ll find you’ve actually shifted your mood.
  • Don’t Take the Bait – How do I put this delicately? I’ve been told, “Opinions are like a-holes. Everybody has one.” That’s truth right there. Now constructive criticism is very much appreciated. You must know what is and isn’t working with your market. So listen to people who are sincerely trying to help. Also understand that sometimes people can be obnoxious and petty. They’ll want to poop in your cereal just because they’re having a bad day. So they want you to have one too. Don’t fall for it.
  • Don’t Respond Emotionally – In our instant world of social media it’s very easy to REACT negatively to something you don’t care for. It takes a much bigger person to sit with an issue and respond professionally – later. If something pushes your buttons, give it at least 24 hours. Then you can respond with a cool head and not leave an embarrassing trail of actions you wish you could “do over”.
  • You’re Cool; We Know It – Sometimes you have to remind yourself how awesome you really are. Take 15 minutes and write out 30 successes you have had over your lifetime – no matter how big or small. Tap danced in a recital at 3 years old? Put it in. Launched your blog? Put it in. Add everything you can think of, whether personal or business. Then post it where you will see it often.
  • What Else Are You Doing? – It’s not just about the here and now. Get out of the petty moment by thinking BIGGER. So what do you have planned for the rest of your life? Write down your top 20 big picture goals and look at them regularly. Don’t worry about “how” they will happen. Just focus on the “what”. What you focus on expands – so as you look at your goals regularly, don’t be surprised if they seem to magically happen.
  • Be Positive – You may know about affirmations (positive statements you say to your subconscious to visualize the outcome you want for your future) – but do you USE THEM DAILY? Write them on post-it notes stuck around your office and bathroom mirror. Create a list that you recite first thing each day. Remember to say your affirmation as if you already have it, using the present tense. Example, “I am confident, organized, and self-assured.”
  • Attitude of Gratitude – It is impossible to feel truly grateful for what you have and constricted in the same moment. Each morning and evening, think of 10 things you’re grateful for. You can actually feel your state of mind (and vibration) shift when you’re grateful with what is already in your life.

You can’t get be your best YOU if you’re not firing on all magnificent cylinders. Tap into that greatness that is you. Then get out there and MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson



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